"I wanted it (the dog) to be more of a puppy, so I could share in the joy of it's infancy and mold it into a bespoke companion adhering to some rather unique requirements; the mutt was due to be my only friend and salvation, you can't just get them off the rack. I'm sure when God was selecting Jesus for his mission to redeem the people of Earth he didn't just hurl a potato out of his office window shouting 'Whomever this spud may strike, boy, have I got a job for you!!!"
love that raunchy, crazy, lovely bastard. Check that, his parents were, in fact, legally wed when he was conceived. I think :P